Thanksgiving is a Hallmark lie... so we started something to really be thankful for.
Since starting our lives over about 11 years ago, we weaned off standard, conventional traditions, and now we simply create our own fun.. we do things for and with one another because we LOVE each other, not because the calendar says spend money on them or be together and follow this behavior, eat that food, and partake in specific activities because it's that day.
Growing up, my mother would always cook up a storm. She was a good cook.
When I was young, I remember kind of snide remarks between the kitchen and the living room between my parents.
I remember how each year we had to take turns who would say grace and the year it was my turn I didn't know what to say, I felt SO under pressure and didn't want to say the wrong thing and get laughed at... I froze, and ended up not saying anything. My lip quivered and tears started trickling down my cheeks. I don't remember who let me off the hook, but obviously I never forgot it.
I remember holidays when the family would come together and sometimes talk about people who weren't there, and what their problems, setbacks and flaws were. It made me feel bad for the person not there to defend theirself. I now realize the stage set for me as a child... adult time meant drama and judgments. Mom cooked, kept a spotless house, had shopping addiction and was unhappy. Dad worked 3 jobs and lived from duty and obligation, and didn't show his feelings.
Once I became partnered at 17, going to his family holiday gatherings was a whole other nightmare. It started narrowly, sort of tight lipped... and within a couple of hours, everyone was intoxicated and fighting, really nasty. I was forced to agree with my eventual husband for every statement he claimed.. or I'd actually get physically beat up when we got home. Can you say out of the coals and into the fire?
So after 22 years of that, I returned to my ground zero..stripped down to my core energy... and reignited it. (THIS is what I do for my clients.)
I am no longer that little girl who didn't understand love in relationships, who felt rejected by society for my looks... I am a grown woman who finally went back and loved that little girl, and brought her into my PRESENCE.
It took years of healing to get to where I am, and I love the view from within and without. I love going to sleep as much as I love waking up. I love making my own schedule and not having to answer to anyone. I love that the people I live with are ones I really love.
Tomorrow while others blindly follow tradition, eat GMO and steroid stuffed turkeys, and talk about pilgrims befriending Indians, I feel bad for the indigenous peoples who were pillaged and killed in cold blood. I can't celebrate that. I honor Mother Gaia, her inhabitants, Spirit and the Cosmos. I am a part of the universe and all the universe is within me (and you).
For me every day is engulfed in the frequency of creation, unconditional love.
That is the inner freedom I always dreamed of and finally have.
It began with love of self, (not from a place of ego). That eventually brought inner peace. Once that was discovered and I sustained that frequency, the rest began to flow. That flow turned into abundance. That abundance has now spread across all aspects of life.
I am so grateful when we are together we ALWAYS have belly laughter.. to the point of tears, faces hurting and almost to the point of risking bladder control. <3
So tomorrow it's "game night" as a family.. board games and video games on a massive projection screen (I like Fusion Frenzy) .
No formal sit down meal, just enjoying the warmth and love of one another's PRESENCE, where we all bring parts of a feast, which we will enjoy together throughout our afternoon/evening... no pressure, no limitations, and no clock watching. No rules. Just be you.
Happy every day.. may you always feel gratitude in your heart, there are always gifts to be grateful for, and it's okay if your blood family is not part of that. Celebrate your life and those who do show they care. Remember your loved ones in spirit they are always with you. Ask and you will get a sign.
Dont be afraid to walk away from the herd and start something new...
Especially getting ready to walk into a new DECADE. Live consciously. Heal and LOVE your inner child. (I can help you with that.)
Know why you do what you do. Live with DEPTH, meaning, substance and integrity.
I love you <3