Celebrate being different: and stop pacifying those who don't get you
I've always been different. I look different. I sound different. I've always been a loner; I am not the collective. I'm sensitive, observant, hate conflict and am a people-pleaser. Yeah I was teased and I cried. I'm the type of person who takes everything to heart.. I care too much. Without batting an eye, I would march right in and stand up for another kid when he/she were being picked on. But I wouldn't stand up for myself.
Let's fast forward a few decades. I came out of an abusive marriage where I completely lost my identity. Step by step I started to rediscover who I was, and developed a new refreshing sense of self. I was pretty cool underneath that heavy mask of denial!
I am an accomplished IT equipment installation independent contractor, and a volunteer Junior Achievement teacher.
I've spent the last 5 years studying astrology, tarot, numerology, how crystals have healing properties, what smudging is, how tapping yourself can cure PTSD, color therapy, quantum physics, karmic journeys, how chemistry between people works, auras, soul connections, our electromagnetic system, and how the conscious and unconscious mind works.
It's a real challenge for some of us to fully be ourselves when we know it's not part of the collective, and might evoke some upset in our inner circle.
A couple years back, I announced on my Facebook page that I was doing tarot card readings. And the red sea parted. One side was either supportive or neutral.
But the other side said stuff like tarot is the devil, and I should 'be careful.' Facebook friends (okay, 'acquaintances') dropped like flies. One guy, said "What about the CHILDREN?"
Commentary from people who I respected and cared about made me feel 'dirty' and 'sin-ny.'
So I pulled back a little and didn't talk about it as much on my public social media. It caused a split with my personal alignment. I did THIS during the day and THAT by night, undercover.
I had this feeling of hovering shame as I would see certain "stuffed-shirt" people, and felt incredibly awkward even within my own family because I didn't want them to think I was weird or demented. There was no science that backed what I was doing and I was afraid to stand up for it or myself.... and well I hate conflict... but I was not going to stop.
Over the next couple of years I would perform lots, and lots of readings: at fairs, special events, private parties and in private practice. I became really fine-tuned and polished.
In 2017, professionals I respect in these circles started to invite me to participate in events or referred me for parties!!! OMG I was jumping for joy in my heart, I felt SO accomplished!!!!
I can talk about what I do now. I don't feel shamed at all. When I am at an event of any caliber, people of all walks have come to me and are equally amazed at how accurate a reading they get.
Each of my kids have gotten an astrological or tarot reading from me. They are open to it, and I am grateful.
My person has reunited and I am no longer fragmented. It's super cool to be different. Actually let me be totally honest - It is mega cool to simply be me, and let myself BE. Without feeling shamey or funny or awkward... but rather... happy and proud!
There will always be people who: don't get you, who try to shame you, who want you to feel bad, who don't want you to have anything to claim as your own, who always make you feel like a little child, ie insignificant... and use words like "little" when they refer to your passions "your little shows." They will toy with your emotions and trigger you like crazy to establish and maintain control. It is a twisted manipulative game that when you crack, they cunningly claim victory; while you are left emotionally exhausted and physically drained. Stop engaging.
Frustrations bottled up? Write a letter to the person who doesn't get you (or to the collective). Write it out in longhand. Read it out loud, with feeling! If your eyes well up, do not hold back! READ IT OUT LOUD and FEEL IT. Yell if you feel better.
Then... burn it. (safely of course)
What not to do: Defend yourself, explain yourself. Why? Because they already have their mind made up to not accept what you are doing, or believe what you believe in. They "know" what is "right." In other words, their belief system is unable to be penetrated stone and in their eyes, you are a helpless little baby who "doesn't know any better." You can explain it, describe it and defend your beliefs, show Youtube videos, books and papers and it will never make them flinch. So stop. You are only setting yourself up for frustration, heartache, anxiety and maybe depression. Accept that they are steadfast and it's not worth all your energy trying. Stop.
What to do: Keep. On. Stepping. Keep following your passions! With all of your heart! With all of your energy! Do what makes you sizzle and light up inside - this is YOUR life. It's YOUR passion, not anyone else's. Nobody will feel or get things the same way as you do. You have walked every step of your journey and all else were mere decorations, steps or hindrances. Regardless, secretly do be thankful for every little and big thing, because whether positive or negative, it contributed to your wealthy knowledge-base. It brought you where you are today. EVERY BODY IS A LESSON. It may be qualities you aspire to, or qualities that you know you never want to have!
It is nobody else's job or responsibility to support, like, agree or accept what you choose to do. They don't owe you anything. They don't have to approve. Fine. Don't explain it one more single time to them.. go ahead and talk about whatever else in your life but do not go back. Do not let them bring you down to their incoherent level in your chosen passion. Agree to disagree and do not play the game anymore.
You don't owe anyone else anything. Not explanations for your drive, your interests, your hobbies, your lifestyle, your loves. You are done answering to others.
You DO owe it to YOURSELF to follow your passion. Without apology.
Stop pacifying those who are stealing your precious time. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. Invest your time wisely. Don't allow others to steal it in negativity. Choose who is worthy of your time and energy.
Your soul will thank you by opening doors of opportunity, introducing you to the 'right' people who have common interests and beliefs. These people speak your language. Shift where you shine your spotlight of attention and focus, and the right things will come into view.
Guess what!? Since coming out of the Woo Woo Closet, I received an invitation to present at Lily Dale next summer!! Talk about crown jewel! Let your soul SHINE. Seriously! Don't be ashamed to SHINE! You'll find so many others sharing your insights. Your peeps await!
With love and respect this article is dedicated to my friend Debbie. You are a budding rose. I see your gentle, bashful soul. You have many gifts and talents that will only grow when you shed the overshadow of negativism in your space. Allow yourself to step into the lush green pasture of love and forgiveness and you shall be embraced in fragrant hugs and will be adorned with flowery crowns.
PS: A very special, endearing thank you to Cassandra Joan Butler, the one soul who, when I was shrouded in anger, doubt and darkness, took my hand and let me know about my team of Angels. Cassandra was the means that broke my fever of anger and shame, and opened me to be enlightened. I am forever indebted to you for your kind, sweet nature and compassionate being. I love you!